I'm not a happy person.
I find faults with things and try to mimic other people if they seem happy or successful. I am 25 years old and I have been thinking about the same problems since as long as I remember. I find myself influenced by people and ideas easily. Actually, my whole perception about happiness, success, contentment, commitment comes from other people. Tell me a story and I will probably buy into it. I also feel un-energetic a lot. I don't groom myself. I dress poorly, doing the bare minimum.
Actually if I think about it, I do the bare minimum wherever I can pull that off. My parents sent me to a great school, but I did a bare minimum at school. I did the bare minimum for pre-college tests and got into a bare minimum decent college. I worked bare minimum at college and graduated with the bare minimum grade to qualify as first class. I contributed bare minimum to a romantic relationship to keep it alive as long as it lived. I have a bare minimum job and my contribution at work is bare minimum to sustain that job. I joined a gymnasium earlier and the reps I did were bare minimum. Many times, bare minimum keeps you afloat. I read somewhere ~ only the dead flow with the stream. It's not really relevant here but I felt like mentioning it. I feel I have a superiority complex, which is low key, a cover up for an inferiority complex. I am tired of not feeling happy. I want to be blissful.
I want to stop being envious. Envy not jealousy. I haven't felt jealousy in a while now. I want to stop comparing myself with others. I want to stop finding their flaws just to make myself feel better. I want to stop carrying the folds on my forehead. I want to stop being so un-energetic. I want to stop being not in my peak fitness. I want to stop being not being in my prime. I want to feel joy. I want to be happy.